My Beloved
by Ambuu
Summary: What if Bella had accepted to have a baby with Jacob and stay with Edward? What if they had actually shared? What if Renesme had been gotten rid of? Continuing from chapter 9 in Breaking Dawn.
1. Chapter 1

My Beloved

**My Beloved**

**Okay, so I was just re-reading Breaking Dawn. I just finished the 9****th**** chapter and read the first sentence of the 10****th**** when I just couldn't read anymore because a most fantastic idea had just entered my head. What if Bella had actually accepted to have a baby with Jacob? Maybe she would still stay with Edward or maybe she would sway to just Jacob. I don't know; I haven't made up my mind on that part yet. But I just can't take that Jacob and Bella didn't end up together. I mean, I knew that it would always be Edward and Bella in the series, but I just love Jacob so much. When I read about Jacob and Bella being together, I imagine me and Jacob being together. I just couldn't stand for Jacob to imprint on someone else, especially a baby. I mean, what's the big deal about Renesme? Sure, I'm just crazy jealous, but I think she's just like those forbidden children. Sure, she's really cute and just a baby. Sure, I don't think any unnecessary harm should come to her. But she can't take my man! So, without further ado, here I go with another fanfic about my beloved Jacob Black.**

Chapter 1

(Jacob's POV)

Walking towards the leeches' front door I try to compose myself. I mean, am I really going to do this? Am I really going to ask Bella to do something like that? Sure, I'm crazy about her. Sure, I want to be with her. I've fantasized about her for so long. But, Bella deserves more than that. She deserves to be with one man, to have a real life; not bounced back and forth as something almost like a prostitute. I mean, sure I'm not exactly a man. Neither is that blo- Edward. But that _thing_. That thing is going to tear her apart from the inside out. I need to do this. The blood- Edward is right on this. We need to work together just this once to save her. Not that we haven't worked together before. I sigh. I hope this isn't some ongoing thing that'll turn into a friendship even. I'm not Seth.

A plan quickly forms in my head as I walk back into the leeches' living room to go to Bella. Distantly, I hear the front door close and I guess the bloodsucker has shut the front door. Weak and fragile, there's zombie Bella trying to sit up for us. I can't believe she's trying to act like nothing's wrong. But then I can, that's classic Bella for you. Her eyes light up when she sees me. I don't understand why she's always so happy to see me when apparently she's got it hard for the bloodsucker. She was going to become one of them for him anyway. She married him. She…got pregnant with him. I put a smile on for her.

"Hey Bells," I try to sound nonchalant.

She smiles back, "What did you and Edward talk about?"

"Oh nothing, he's just bringing me up to date," I shrug.

Her smile stays but protectiveness glints in her eyes, "And?"

"And what?" I ask.

"And what do you have to say?" she responds.

"Well," I start, "don't overreact okay but I think you're being a little stupid."

She starts to cry but I see that they're angry tears. Oh great, pregnant people always cry don't they? Then again, Bella always cries when she's angry.

"I thought maybe you'd understand. Why do you want to hurt my little nudger?"

I inwardly cringe. She has a pet name for it?

"No. I don't," I try to make something up fast, "Bells, can't you see? Nudger here is already strong enough to live on its own. Nudger'll be just fine if we get it out of you now, but you won't be fine if we don't. Bella please listen. We're just trying to help you. Plus, maybe Nudger would be more comfortable if it were out of you. You don't have much room left in you and you couldn't possibly nourish it anymore. If you do, you'll die. And don't give me any of that crap that you know you'll die or you're strong enough. If anything bad happens to you, it'll hurt Nudger too."

I use her name for it, trying to convince her. She ponders a moment. Maybe it _would _be better off outside of her. But no, the leeches better kill the thing as soon as we get it out of Bella's sight. I want to look to see Edward's reaction to that thought, but I know if I look over at him Bella would think we planned this, and to an extent, we sort of did.

Finally, Bella looks over at Carlisle and I already see what's going to happen. She's going to ask him what would be better for the thing because he's on whatever side Esme's on.

"Carlisle," she asks, "what would be better for my baby? Would it be better for him or her to stay inside me and grow more? Or would it be better to do what Jacob said?"

Carlisle seems to think for a moment. This is it. If he just says that it would be better for the thing to be taken out then we've got her.

"If the baby was a purely human baby," Carlisle starts in his doctor tone, "it would be horrible to take the baby out now. The baby would be born immaturely and would most likely die. But, the baby is most definitely not human. It may be part human, but how can we know? We do know that you are getting weaker every hour, and it is true when Jacob said that if you are hurt, the baby is also hurt. With you in this condition it is most likely that we will lose you, and along with you, the baby."

I turn my attention back to Bella, relieved that Carlisle said the right thing. Saying that, he probably convinced Bella that he's actually thinking about the thing.

"So, it would be better for the baby if we took it out now? Are you sure? Rose? What do you think?" Bella looks to Blondie and I have no idea what she'll say.

She seems to consider, looking Bella over, and I think that she comes to the conclusion that if the baby were to be hurt if Bella were hurt, the baby is already hurt. Edward said that all Blondie cares about is the thing.

"Get it out of you. I think Carlisle's right. If you get hurt, the baby will be hurt. If the baby is part vampire, it'll be fine," Blondie says.

YES!! Now all we have to worry about is Blondie getting in the way when we kill the thing.

"Okay, I'll do it. For Nudger," Bella gives a small smile, "Rose, will you stay with me when we do it?"

"Sure Bella," Blondie agrees, and I'm thinking she's going to leave as soon as the thing's out of her.

Blondie goes where the creature goes. We're going to have to find a way of getting Blondie out of the way. Bella looks over at Edward, so I guess it's safe for me to look at him too. He seems a little relieved. Not so much the man at the stake, but it seems as though he's still suffering.

"Me and Jacob are going to have a talk again love," Edward says.

"Why? What do you need to talk about?" Bella asks, a little skeptical.

"Oh don't worry. I just wanted to discuss the treaty," Edward smiles.

Bella's answering smile hits me like a dart. But, I already knew she loves him more. The leech leads me to the same place as before.

"So, that worked well. All we need to do now is to get rid of Blondie."

Edward frowns a little, "It won't be that easy. If the thing is anything like the forbidden children, it may be impossible to kill it. We'll love it too much upon sight. I doubt it though. And we won't be able to kill it right away. Rosalie would murder us. Maybe even Bella. We need to see how it goes. As for getting Rosalie away in time to kill it we'll have to think of something. But Jacob, I think the best way of getting rid of the thing would be to convince Bella that it isn't safe, that she can have other children; safer children."

"What am I supposed to say?" I ask exasperated, "Bella, I was just wondering, since your kid is trying to kill you, why don't you have some kids with me? Oh, and don't worry, you can still be with Edward, we just want you to be happy and have a child?"

Edward's frown grows deeper, "If that's what it takes. But, I think I have a better idea. I'm not going to give Bella up, but, for the time being; maybe I can…get her to hate me. Then you would have your chance."

Hundreds of thoughts swim through my head. It's the chance I've always wanted. To have the bloodsucker out of the way, to have Bella to myself, and to know that she wasn't thinking about him. I would take her anyway, even if she did think about him.

"I thought you were never going to force her into that other choice again," I almost question.

"I'm not. I'm just giving you a little time. I'll come back for her; explain what we did."

I nod. It's a horrible thing for me to do, but I'm going to do it, because I'm selfish. I'm arrogant. That's just the way I am. And I love her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **

**(Bella's POV)**

I'm doing it again. I'm making them both feel unnecessary pain. I know that Edward's the one I can't live without, but I can't stop loving Jacob. I know that I'm _married _to Edward. So why can't I stop smiling whenever Jake's around? I mean, I like being married to Edward. I _love _being married to Edward. So what's the whole thing with Jacob again? And why do they keep going outside to talk?

I'm going to help Nudger. My baby will be perfectly healthy. I'm just so sorry that I'm already not a good enough mother; that I can't nourish my baby like I'm supposed to. Of course, it has some of Edward in it, and just like I'm not good enough for him, I'm not good enough for my baby. They both love me anyway though. It's impossible. I don't get it. But I'm just so happy that they do. I can't wait to hold my child in my arms, to see a little baby Edward staring back at me. My eyes close, imagining holding my little Nudger, but with a different defined name.

Hot hands pull my hair away from my face. _Jacob?_ I open my eyes, and there's Jacob, my Jacob all over again. Then I realize it's Seth. I manage a smile.

"Hey, Seth. What are you doing at the big bad vampires' house?"

"Hey, Bella," he grins hugely, "I came here for the wedding didn't I? But neigh, I'm here for something different. You'll never believe what happened!"

He starts to explain that Jacob had told the pack what had happened with me and that the fight had steered towards killing me while my baby was still inside me. Jacob had gone against Sam, and had become a new Alpha. Seth joined Jacob, and a little while later, so had Leah.

"Wow," my mouth forms an O, "So, Leah's here too?"

"Well, yeah," he sighs, "but she's outside. She won't come in here."

"Oh," I answer sadly but inside I'm a little relived, "Well, maybe that's for the best."

"Yeahhhh," Seth answers, "Maybe it is."

An awkward pause grips us, until I see Jacob standing in front of me, the real Jacob. I know, because I can feel Seth's arm around me. Wait. Seth's _arm_ is around me? I start to make a face, and apparently so does Jacob, because Seth removes his arm.

"Uhm," he says awkwardly, "Me and Edward have been trying to make her more comfortable. You know how hard this is on her. I've been keeping her warm, and when she gets too hot, Edward takes over to cool her down."

Jacob says nothing, but his face is a little tortured.

"Heh," Seth tries to lighten the mood up, "Cool huh?"  
Finally Jacob answers, "Yeah," he clips, "Real cool."

Awkward again.

I look over Jake's mass to find Edward. He's there, but what I see hits my heart hard, like being stoned to death. His eyes are steeled over, nothing in there for me except for maybe disgust. A scowl dawns his lips. Is it because I look awful being pregnant? But he hasn't looked at me like that so far. As I think that, a little kick hits me from inside. Except it wasn't a little kick, because I'm pregnant with a vampire's baby. I try to hide the pain, but I can't help wincing and throwing my hands around my stomach. A tear escapes by eye, and I yell at myself inside my head for letting it escape. I look up quickly to Edward, but his scowl had just deepened. I look to Jacob, trying to smile even though I feel like I'm being torn apart in the most excruciating way. He's looking at me in horror.

"Oh my god Bella. We need to get it out of you. Remember, when you're hurt, the baby's hurt?"

My hands find my stomach again. How can I be so stupid? I really am in pain, no matter how hard I try to fight it. I'm in agony, even without this cold shoulder from Edward. What must my baby be going through? I'm even more incompetent than I thought.

"Get Nudger out! Get her out now!" I yell frantically.

Wait – her? Is Nudger a she? A parental instinct maybe?

A smile graces my charred lips, "She. Nudger's a she. I just know it!"

I see Rosalie fly into the room out of the corner of my eye, "A girl! That's amazing!"

She's all smiles.

"Yeah," Jacob says slowly, "A girl. Congratulations Bella."

My smile gets bigger, "Thanks Jake."

Edward sneers, "Well this is just a miracle, isn't it? Another Bella to save every other minute."

I take a sharp breath. But…but he had said he didn't mind didn't he? My smile is quickly wiped off my face. A moment later, another kick sends me into another tornado of pain, which brings me back to my earlier predicament.

Slowly, I try to get the words out through my emotional and physical pain, "Get her out. Help her. Please."

Rosalie nods, "Of course Bella. I'll go get Carlisle."

She speeds out of the room.

"So," Jacob says, again slowly, "What are you going to name her?"  
That brings a small smile to my lips, just his voice, and the mention of my baby.

"Well, I want it to be special, just like she'll be. Something every other child will definitely not have."  
I think hard. And it comes to me. It's perfect. For my mother, and Edward's.

"Renesme."

"Wow, that is special," Jake says.

"It is certain no other child will have that name," Edward inputs, making it sound like it's the worst possible name ever.

Another tear escapes me, this time an angry one. What had I done? Why was Edward suddenly acting like this? I knew it was a long shot, but I had started to believe that he actually thought I was the one for him, that I was special to him. What had I done to make him suddenly so far away?

"Edward – " I start.

"So you are ready to take the baby out Bella?" Carlisle had finally come.

"Yeah," I turn away from Edward to Carlisle, "Jacob made me see that I shouldn't be so resilient against showing the pain, because Renesme actually feels it too, and I don't want her to feel anything bad."

"Renesme? What a wonderful name."

"Thanks. I wanted it to be special."

"And it is," Carlisle gives me a grin, "So, I'm going to do a c-section, seeing as you are definitely not ready to go into labor. I would like everyone except for Edward to leave the room. Yes, Rose, that means you too."

It seems Rosalie had come back with Carlisle and had given him a look before leaving. Jacob looks at me, torn. He grudgingly leaves.

"I don't want to see this catastrophe," Edward says with another sneer.

Carlisle has an incredulous look, "Edward, surely you would want to stay with Bella while she undergoes this momentous change in not only her life, but yours?"

"Why would it be a change in my life? And why should I care about any change in hers? Good luck, Isabella." And he leaves too.

Carlisle gapes at his retreating back, "I'm sure there is a reason for his abominable behavior. Probably just nerves. He'll regret it later."  
He turns to smile at me, "Well we'll just carry on ahead won't we?"  
I nod.

"I'm going to knock you out, even though you should probably be awake for this. However, as you can imagine, this isn't a normal procedure. I will wake you up as soon as this is done."

"Okay," I say weakly, still replaying Edward's retreating words over and over again.

Especially the way he had said _Isabella_. But soon I can't think about that anymore, I can't think about anything. My world's a blank.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 **

**(Jacob's POV)**

I hated the look on her face. The desperation, the anger, the pain. The pain behind it all; the underlying pain that drove her to the desperation and anger. I hated how I knew it was all a hoax; how I knew that if I just told her it was all fake, the desperation and anger would go away. I hated Edward for making her go through it all. I hated that this was the only way to save her. I hated myself.

I heard the words. The words the bloodsucker carelessly flung out of his mouth. The way he said her name. The way he treated her. The way I knew he had to treat her. To give me my chance. To save the girl we both love.

And that's why I walked out of that room, left her by herself. Well, as alone as she could be with the mutant spawn and Carlisle. It was the only reason I could've moved anywhere. It was the only reason I could resist running over to her, spilling the secret to wipe out how she felt about the vampire's attitude towards her. I would've stood up for him, if it would only take the sorrow out of her eyes. But it was to save her. Our whole plan, to save her. No matter what pain she's put me through, no matter how much pain my life has been since I've fallen for her, I love her. And I'm going to do this, to save her.

We've planned it out. Once Bella loses this baby, she might want to try again. That's where I come in. If she doesn't, me being there for her will still help her feel better. She won't want to be around Edward once he's killed her precious baby; especially with the way he's treating her now. He won't give her up again. He'll come back in about ten years; make her live out a real life. Come clean with what we did. But then, maybe she will take him back. Even with the bloodsucker killing her Nudger. I inwardly cringe at the thought of her pet name for the thing.

Well, it wouldn't be around much longer. To go through with the whole idea that Edward hates the baby, he's going to bring the spawn to the pack. They'll kill the thing. Maybe I'll help. We're going to fake a fight, and he'll tell Bella that I tried stopping him. That's where it will all start. Me and Bella, together like it was meant to be. Where she'll have a real life. Grow old, maybe have kids, be with Charlie and Renee, have friends, and be alive.

I'm sitting on the couch at the bloodsuckers' house. Bella's still knocked out. I can hear her slowed heart beat. But I can also hear another, faster one. Must be the mutant spawn. Time to put on the act.

"Hey Bondie," I tease, knowing she can hear me no matter where she is in the house.

I see a blur and soon she's standing in the living room, "What, dog? I need to get to the baby."

I smirk, all going to plan, "The baby, huh? Of course that's what you'd be worried about. Of course you don't care what happened to Bella; if she's alright."

"Of course she's alright; Carlisle's an excellent doctor."

"_Really_ now? I thought he just drained all his patients of blood and called it quits."

"Carlisle never drinks human blood, you know that, so stop belittling him. He's one hundred times the man you'll ever be," and she glares me up and down.

"Man? That's what you call him? I'm at least half a man, he isn't at all, so I guess that makes me more of a man than he is," I say, giving a little laugh.

"Don't talk about him that way. He's a great man. He – he saved me," and I almost can't answer.

I know that Carlisle is as close you get to a great person for a vampire. I maybe sort of admire him. Thankfully, I don't have to answer. Edward steps through the front door. And the other heartbeat upstairs can't be heard anymore. SUCCESS!!!

Looking stricken Blondie asks, "Edward, where were you?"  
He gives her a somber look, "I just had a chat with wolves."

"The wolves?" and she's a blur again, up the stairs.

Giving Edward a quick half scared look, I hear a shriek. And Blondie's back in the living room.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?"

Still calm, Edward answers, "I got rid of that abomination."

"HOW DARE YOU?"

"Unfortunately, that thing was also half mine, and so I have the right to get rid of it. The wolves took care of it."

"DON'T YOU RESPECT BELLA'S CHOICE?"

"I don't have a care in the world that pertains to that girl."

The shock of his answer is the only thing that kept her from ripping him to shreds I think.

"What's happened to you?" she asks, giving him a calculating, distressed look.

"Nothing. I am simply getting rid of the things I do not need anymore."

"And that includes Bella?"

"Why do you keep referencing back to that girl?"

"I thought you were happy, you _married _her for goodness sake Edward! We all thought you were happy."

"You were wrong then. You all were."

"Are you saying that _Alice_ was wrong then? She _saw_ her Edward, she _saw_ her as one of us."

"The future can change, as I've said many times before in this case."

"Look," I cut in, "I _tried _to stop him, if that helps."

Her head turns to me so fast I'm surprised it doesn't fall off, "As if you expect me to believe that."

"Why not?"

"One, you didn't like the baby either. Two, you were talking to me while Edward was on his," she glances at him, "little expedition."

"I didn't like the thing, I'll admit, but I'll go along with anything that makes Bella happy. I hung out over here, didn't I? And Edward brought the thing over to the pack way before I was talking to you. They're all still under Sam's command, so I couldn't do anything about them attacking it, and I tried to stop Edward, but he practically killed me."

"You look fine."

"You kidding me? I high tailed it out of there. And I heal fast."

"The mongrel is right. I wasn't particularly worried about killing him; just getting him out of the way," Edward inputs.

"And why were you acting as if everything was normal then?"

"Seriously? Normal? I don't attack Carlisle's good nature on a daily basis. I was taking out my frustration on you."

"Speaking of, why are you still here? Why is Isabella still here? Kindly get out of my house," Edward said.

"Edward, Bella just gave birth to a half vampire. She needs to be taken care of. She can't be taken to a hospital, what are we supposed to say? Are you saying you don't care whether she lives or dies?"

Maybe Blondie did care about Bella.

"Do whatever you have to do. I just don't want her here any longer than she needs to be, and," he glances over at me with disgust, "the dog too."

"Well you know as well as the rest of us that he's not going anywhere while Bella's in such a condition."

Edward snarls, "Fine."

And he marches out of the room.

Blondie stares incredulously at me.

"You really tried to stop him?"

"Are you seriously wondering if I'd ever let anything happen that would hurt Bella?"

After a moment she answers, "No."

Silence.

"I guess…she'll take you now. Now that Edward…"

"Maybe," I say, downcast.


	4. Chapter 4

1 – I apologize for not updating in a year, probably longer, I haven't checked.

2 – Just because Edward and Jacob plan for things to go out one way, doesn't mean that  
things will turn out that way. Bella is her own person.

3 – I promise to **try** and update at least once a week from now on. I haven't written  
anything in forever and I feel like I'm losing myself because of it.

4 – Please please please critique in any way possible, and please please please read this  
and don't give up on me.


	5. Chapter 5

***PLEASE READ MY NOTES***

**Gauging by your reactions to the previous chapter, I should probably mention that Renesmee (sp?) is still alive. All part of the plan; but everyone else needs to think that she's dead. I was going to mention what happened to her at the end of the fanfic as a sort of epilogue. I should also mention that of course Bella is NOT going to be okay with this, and she is not going to want to try again for a child. She wanted NUDGER, not some other alien baby. I'm sorry that my intentions were that clouded.**

**I'd also like to thank everyone for their reviews, and that includes the reviews that criticized the previous chapter. I like the way they were said, not bashing it or anything, but considerate. **

**(The first paragraph and what I just said I wrote forever ago, but now I'm finally updating, so anything beyond " 'How are you feeling Bella' " is new.)**

**Chapter 4 **

**(Bella's POV)**

Waking up, I feel disoriented. Something important was going on, but I can't remember what it was. I can't remember where I am, or what day it is. So I try to think, and this searing pain stings the back of my eyes. I groan, and suddenly I feel heat right near me. I blink a couple of times, trying to see. These observations I can handle: Jacob's sitting next to me, I'm on a bed, and Carlisle is looking patiently at me.  
"How are you feeling Bella?"  
"Like hell," I give a painful laugh, "What's going on? Why am I here?"  
Of course, I'm not really asking why I'm here, but why I'm in this state. A feeling that something more than life importance needs my attention has a constant tug on my heart, but I can't piece what that important thing is. I can perfectly imagine something crazy happening that would cause me to be in a bed and hospital gown with Carlisle standing over me. I can also piece together that more than likely I'm at Ed…ward's house.

With that train of thought comes a myriad of images, memories, attacking my brain with a pounding force. And I remember. The first thing that comes to me is my being pregnant. All my wonderful recollections of my little Nudger return to me in full force, like a fast moving movie of the most important happenings of my life. My being sighs her name in contentment, _Renesmee_. I remember why I am here. But as my happiness settles in, new feelings start to arise, a mesh of hurt, betrayal, overwhelming sadness, and much, much more. I remember Edward walking out on me, leaving me at my time of need, his attitude toward me. Part of me rejects it, doesn't believe it. Not only am I not physically, emotionally, and mentally unable to, I remember that he has done this before. To protect me. And I can see where someone such as Edward could get the idea that I need to be protected at a time like this, but to me, it just doesn't make sense. He should be **staying** with me, not **leaving** me. I need his help, with **our** child….Where is she? Where is Renesmee? Where is my darling little nudger?

Worry envelops me, and the feelings brought by Edward's behavior are pushed to the back of my mind as that needful feeling gains new meaning. Where is Renesmee? Why isn't Carlisle handing her over to me? Why can't I hear a baby crying? That feeling, it must be her. She needs me. Where is she? Where is my baby? Where is my baby? Where is my Renesmee?  
"Where is she?" I ask, hysterical.  
Carlisle looks taken aback. He turns to Jacob.  
"How could she know?" he asks quietly, not meant for me to hear.  
But even with his vampire quietness, I am able to discern his words. My worry enhances my senses.  
"Know what? Where is she? Where's Renesmee? The operation went okay didn't it?" I ask.  
"The operation went very well, although you are in dire need of rest, and medical treatment," Carlisle answers reassuringly.  
"Then where is she? Where's Renesmee? Where's my baby?" they're not answering me.  
The doctor looks off into the distance, contemplating his answer. My body starts shaking violently.  
"Whoa Bella, chill," Jacob orders.  
"Chill!? You want me to chill!? Why won't you answer me!? Why are you here? Where's Edward!?"  
His eyes steel over, "Edward? Who knows? Why would he care? He hasn't checked up on you at all. You've been unconscious for over a week now and the only time he mentions you is when he's asking when you're getting out of here. Of course I'm here. Of course I'm with you. I've always been with you. And yes, I want you to relax. Because if you don't, you might go into a coma. And I won't answer you concerning your…baby…because I don't want to upset you. You know I didn't like it."  
I was hurt when he told me about Edward, ashamed when he reminded me of his constant presence, but only horrifyingly alerted when he said his last sentence. The thought that I was unconscious for over a week rang over and over in my head. So many things could have happened in a week.  
"What do you mean you _didn't_ like Renesmee?" I ask fearfully.  
His bearings change. He looks scared, and his eyes shoot to Carlisle. The doctor looks at me with calculative eyes.  
"If I tell you Bella, do you promise to stay in this bed? For your own well being?"  
"Yes," I would say anything to help my nudger.  
"Edward, in his view, exercised his right as a parent, and, in his words, got rid of the abomination, your child. He brought her to the pack, who he knew wanted her gone because of the threat she posed. Jacob here no longer having any say over the pack couldn't do anything to stop them and so tried to stop Edward. Edward attacked him to get him out of the way, and Jacob just managed to get away to heal. There was nothing he could do," Carlisle's eyes never left mine as he said this.  
I stared back in horror, in disbelief. No way could such a thing have happened. No way could Edward have done anything remotely like it. Renesmee couldn't be dead. I could feel it in my heart. She needed me. She was alive.  
"I don't believe you. Where is Renesmee? She needs me," I answer in a deadly calm.  
His stone cold hands cup mine and he stares into my eyes, "Bella, my child, your daughter is dead. I'm so terribly sorry, but make peace with it. I wouldn't lie to you, you know this. I wish with all my being that I could have done something to stop it, but I had no idea it was transpiring. We are all here for you, even though my son is not himself at the moment. Please, make peace; we cannot watch you go through this denial."  
Jacob wraps his arms around me, holding me close, "Bella, we love you, we only want to help you."  
Tears erupt down my cheeks; I feel to be in a crazed state. My heart is telling me one thing, but my mind is telling me something different. Carlisle would never lie to me, and Jacob, Jacob only ever does what he thinks is best for me. What they are telling me must be true, but how? How can it be true when I feel her in my heart, her need for me? A woosh brings Rosalie to my side.  
"Bella! You're awake!" she pushes Jacob off me and takes his place, "Oh Bella, I'm so sorry, I didn't know. I did everything I could, but I didn't know Edward would ever do a thing like that. I'm so so sorry Bella. I'm so sorry. I'll do anything I can to help you, anything I can. I'm so sorry."  
More tears stream out of my eyes. It seems everyone has this thought in their heads. Maybe it is true. But I can't accept it. I will go along with what everyone tells me. But I will never give up on her. I can't; especially not when I feel her need so raw inside me. She's alive, somewhere, out there, and she needs me. My baby needs me but I can not go to her. And that's the worst thing of all. _But oh Renesmee, baby, Mommy will never give up on you. I will search for you for my whole life. I know you are out there._ Even more tears leak out of me. I don't even care that they see.

Another woosh brings Esme. Pain worships her face.  
"Bella, I am so terribly sorry. My son, I don't…don't know what has hold over him. I know what it is to lose a child, and I am here for you. I am so sorry."  
Jasper is next to come into the now crowded room. A wave of calm settles over me, though I do not forget the pain and sorrow that fills me. He stands there, giving me a look of pain and comfort. Next is Emmett, who puts an arm around Rosalie. Pain is also etched onto his face.  
"Bella, you know I..." he whispers, and all is said.  
Last comes Seth, cautiously coming into the room. Coming around to my side opposite Rosalie, he envelops me in a hug.  
"Bella, I can't believe Edward did what he did. I thought he was my friend. I trusted him. I'm sorry. But I'm here for you now. I'll never leave your side."  
Age is in his eyes, and I wish I could erase it all.

All I can do is sit there. I can't utter a word. I'm immobilized with the supposed truth they're shoving down my throat. But at the same time, they're all here for me, all solidly there. Everybody except for Charlie and Renee. And that's because they don't know. Everybody except for Charlie and Renee and Billy and…EDWARD!!! Rage sweeps my tears dry. And I can't for a second believe any more that he did this to protect me. I can't for a second believe that my supposed undying, infinite love for him can override my love for her. It's his fault. It's all his fault. It's all his fault, and he's gonna pay. I shoot out of bed, ignoring the protests around me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry, I know I broke my promise, and I just hate it. My sad excuse is that I have all my AP tests coming up very soon, my SAT IIs' in a week, and my SAT and ACT are also soon. I will try to update after the AP tests; maybe after the SAT II's. After I have taken the SAT and ACT I will keep up with my promise with one chapter a week. I am soooo sorry. Please forgive me. This was just to tell you that I haven't forgotten.**


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